Very evocative vignette, dialyn. Did you enter this into the New Year's Contest? If not, you should have. It's well written and quite poignant. Assuming you would like some critique, I offer the following. twenty years ago before twenty years ago, before roadmap should be road map. She shoved the coffee pot in the dishwasher. She shoved the coffee pot into the dishwasher. timebleached Not sure but maybe a space after the ellipses? heisitated should be hesitated. another word but changed his mind another word, but changed his mind You couldnt tell he was balding when he was wearing his hat. I resemble that remark! turned the light on as she faced herself turned the light on, as she faced herself facethe Again, a space after the ellipses? the longing for the child that never lived Very evocative. You can feel the emotions, not just here, but throughout the story. As in here: All she had left was Billy. And she hated him for that. She pulled some tissues out of the box on the vanity At this point I had the feeling she was in her bedroom. Perhaps the box should be on the dresser? a a flowered dress Repeated word, a. which she held it against her body. which she held against her body. - Don't need the it. Nicely done, with many heart tugging turns of phrase. jon

 
~jon
My Blog - Mad Utopia Writing in a new era.