I think you try a little too hard on the details. Sometimes they get in the way of the flow. This story is in Adam's point-of-view, so some of the details mentioned seem awkward for him. Signing the permission form was the hardest thing 40-year old farmer Adam Berringer had to do for a very long time. Does he think of himself all the time as a 40 year old farmer? Maybe something like this, instead: In all his forty years, signing the Army permission form was the hardest thing Adam Berringer had to do. You mention the farm farther down, so you don't need to hit the reader upfront with his profession. Here's another example: Unlike her brother, Darius, who at five years her senior and the more pragmatic of the two, Arizona never cared for life on the farm. It would be simpler to say: Unlike her older and more pragmatic brother, Darius, Arizona never cared for life on the farm. (There doesn't seem to be a need to say how much older his is, so why put it in here?) Along with the recommendations above, I'd recommend a bit of pruning to tighten your wording up, but otherwise this is quite good. She did not grow up a tomboy. She just never developed the same love for the land that Darius had. Sorry for the late chime-in! Hope this helps, Cres