'When Partial Coverage Isn't Enough' Ad Parody - Or, yes, we can have war without nipples. You know the feeling. You're all ready for the big invasion, then, suddenly, all your Euro trash friends start begging off as if you're not even buying the keg. You've got too much ground to cover and not enough cash for all the "party favors." Even worse, after weeks in the broiling desert, your troops have started stripping down to their skivies. We understand that nudity may lead to attacks against Americans by religious fundamentalists. In addition to the Attorney General, others may be offended as well. Cheer up dude, because BombCo has the answer to your prayers and you don't even have to kneel and face Enron headquarters! That's right, the new Mk 82 Snakeye by BombCo is just the ticket for your next rave. Don't let the pricetag fool you 'cause this baby is loaded with 275 pounds of H-6, the good s--t. But, that's not all. While it's sleek modern design makes it a real chick-magnet, the Mk 82 is equipped with a set of high-drag fins that deploy to slow the Snake down to a crawl on the way down. You'll be long gone before this little beauty rings in the crusade. Collateral damage? "Dude, I was nowhere near your embassy, put the crack pipe down." Featuring a tough steel casing, the Mk 82 is rustproof and mildew resistant. Plus, the durable finish is guranteed to resist gasoline, sand, blood and oil. And there's more. Order now and get a free stencil kit. Paint your personal message on each Mk 82. Let the evildoers know they blow donkeys, while you blow them up - a surefire icebreaker. We're not done yet. At 6 ' 6", the Snakeye will simply stun and awe the competition. That's right, if you order today, you get all this for under $300, a price that won't stretch your budget deficit. Yes, for less than the cost of one Medicare co-payment, you can level a military headquarters or a small neighborhood - sweet! With our money back guarantee, there's no excuse not to order several thousand for your next invasion, police action, or premptive war. Don't be fooled by cheap imitations costing twice as much. After the old Snakeye hits them, they won't be complaining to any Commie, human rights groups. Buy a few extra for weak-kneed allies. "What's that Pierre? I got your second resolution right here, snail breath!" You can even keep a few on hand for those troublesome domestic critics. Can you say, "I'll be seeing you, ACLU? Oops, I thought that was Al Kaida Commie Leftist Union, my bad." So, don't delay, call now. Operators are standing by. Disclaimer Not responsible for incidental damages or accidental discharge, handle with care. Operating skills not transferable to distressed civilian economy. Product has been demonstrated to cause effects, including, but not limited to maiming, dismemberment, burns, traumatic stress and death. Do not drink or use drugs while using this product (except for speed, as needed, to keep pilots awake). Use may lead to dependency. When used improperly, may incur criminal charges by various international bodies. Charges do not apply if you are not a signatory to relevant war crimes treaties. Accuracy not guaranteed if dropped from 30,000 feet. All orders strictly confidential. Model shown for illustration purposes only and is not included with product. Always wear a bra while bombing. References to any person, conflict or corporation, past or present are purely coincidental.

"Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H. L. Mencken