Welcome to the forum! We have writing challenges and poetry challenges (hosted by tjames) that you are more than welcome to join. The current writing challenge is up, and I suspect we'll have a new poetry one soon as well. (If tjames doesn't put one up soon, I will, and with my lack of poetry knowledge, that's more of a threat than a promise.) ;-) Your second poem definitely flows better to me. I agree with jstro that a bit of formatting might catch the reader's eye and add to the grace of the words. I hope we can see more of your stuff! Cres