No. I liked it better the other way. The short lines really add to the rapid and vivid imagery. Punctuation is the only thing that was missing, as far as I was concerned. And capital letters at the beginning of sentences are usually helpful for readers. :-) I can see why it won multiple prizes. It is very good. I don't see that it would be any worse for a little punctuation, and perhaps would be better. If I may be so bold as to suggest something like this: From the valley floor I watch as the first green-gold rays, a hint of glory to come, burst victoriously from behind blue mountains capped with blinding white. In the distance, dim and barely heard, the crow of a rooster, lowing of cattle. Snowbirds begin their daily hunt, searching for seeds berries to break nights fast. Overhead eagle wheels silent in brightening sky, the clouds now rosy with morning, eyes focused on the river hoping to spot the first seabound salmon. Coyote barks her last song of night, gathers her brood and sleeps. Horse whickers and blows, stamps hooves on crystalline snow; breath clouds of steam which freeze, sparkle falling. Quail thunder from beneath sage escaping, threatened by my proximity. Elk grazing nearby in oat fields unconcerned know, today, i do not hunt. Daybreak breeze whispers through naked branches of spring trees, sends them trembling as with cold, scatters powder snow from evergreens. Reminds me i walk alone, but not Alone... I sing a song of renewal, worship and dream of a cup of cocoa, and home. Also, there are two spelling mistakes you might want to fix; rosy and crystalline. The imagery in this poem is so vivid I actually feel myself taking this walk, seeing and hearing these things as they occur. I can think of no higher praise. jon

 
~jon
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