I particularly found this passage strong and moving: "To a door, some random door. Rain falls my vision is blurred. You lead me along in the darkness And you create the light Im shrouded by darkness, I find the light, And stare into your eyes. The eyes that make me so blind, So blind that I did not see it, So blind that when it happened, The shock took control. The rain cries for me, because I can not cry. The sun rises for me every day, Only to again, disappear behind the clouds. To hide from me yet again." Some of the rest seemed a bit disjointed to me, like it was leading somewhere but never quite made it. Keep writing hon.. you have promise!