Welcome! Like everyone else, I really liked the part about silence. It's a great twist to the cliche. I also liked the next-to-last lines in the poem: It's a wall, a brick wall, that gets in the way. I hate it, I hate it, I can't block it out, this silence is breathing, breathing into me doubt. Everything is so wrong, I'm consumed by the fright, Looking at the poem, I'd agree that it's a bit stilted. I think mysteri hit it on the head - short words with almost every line a short sentence. The end line breaks off, not quite finishing the sentiment. I'm not a poet by any stretch, but when people talk about prose, one thing that comes up a lot is the idea of pacing - having sections that are slow and thoughtful mixed in with quick, attention-grabbing scenes. I think you're poem would do better if you had some additional slow areas - sentences that lazily wrap over a few lines entwined with short lines that bring home the point. And if you're writing this well at age 13, you've got a great future ahead! I hope we can see more of your writing.