Oops, my bad habit of reading threads starting from the bottom not even looking at the title of the first ones... I didn't notice that you had posted the poem too. I was wondering why you said you had written it and were not going to share it. I'm not the one that can criticize the form of a poem, I'm not a poet, and not even an English speaker. I can only say if I like or not... and I like, maybe because I agree with what you say... I'm not sure that can be applied to the clichthing. I noticed that the ones looking for the 'deep dark metaphoric chasm' are the ones more prone to fall into clichimages, but of course they'd never admit this... If you've read my answer on the thread below, the seagulls-poets were all very refined and elaborate... I particularly like the second stanza, with the food comparation, and the close with the slice of bread...