Okay, this is a true story, so I'll be adding to it as I progress through building my computer. All comments welcome, both on the story and on how to build the darn thing. ps, if you don't hear from me again for months, you'll know something went wrong! Shanna :-) Day 1. At last the day has arrived, no more beans on toast for tea for me, I've done the saving and bought all the bits I need to build my new computer. The plan is simple, goodbye horrid old snail speed Pentium II desktop space-hogging yuck of a computer, hello cutie pie Athlon tower of power. There's just one catch, my PII has to die, in order that my Athlon can live. In order to cut my budget down to manageable size, I have decided to reuse some of the components. Perhaps I should make that two catches, although I have upgraded various components, I've never tried to build a computer before, and I don't really know anything about them. The boxes of each new component are lined up neatly on my bed, what to unwrap first? Oh, the joy of it. Armed with my trusty pc maintenance toolkit (it's got 11 bits) I'm about to step into the 21st century. I decide to start with unwrapping the case. It's six hours later. The case is now sitting in it's future home, it looks good there, I'm sure I've made the right decision. All the other bits however remain pristine, boxed (although I have opened each box) encased in their original wrappings. I'll have to move them soon, it's only a few hours until bedtime . Shortly after opening the box with the motherboard in, I remembered that I hadn't done the laundry. Once the washing machine was on I realised it had been more than 4 weeks since I dyed my hair, I needed to get it done before my roots became embarrassingly obvious. Hair dry, shining with false vitality I decided the house could do with a good spring clean in honour of my new computer. That's when I admitted to myself I was afraid to start. Once I start, you see, I will have to pull apart my old, and only, computer. As long as each component stays in it's box, it has the potential to be everything I hoped it would be. If I damage anything, I'm in trouble. I take a deep breath, force myself to get on with the task at hand. It's too late to back down now. So, the manuals. I realise I can put off actually doing anything by studying the manuals. The case doesn't have one, I wonder if I'll ever find out what the strange white plastic box that was just lying loose inside the case is for. Oh well, on to the motherboard. This looks more promising, a quickstart guide, a pdf and an mpeg. I read too fast not really understanding what they mean and turn to the mpeg. Pictures I think, this should be good. The titles fade, revealing a rather attractive oriental woman with the manufacturers name in lime green across her stomach. Hmmm, not sure I trust anyone who wears glitter eyeshadow, I lean forward (it's a tiny picture) I'm sure she's got glitter writing on her face. I take heart from the fact that she announces she will show me how to put a computer together. She looks absurdly pleased to tell me this, but then she hasn't stopped smiling since the video began. I wonder if it makes her jaw ache, then concentrate on the video. I can't help noticing after several minutes that the poor young girl is inflicted with a severe disability for such a pretty little thing. She has remarkably hairy hands, and very unnattractive nails. Every time the camera zooms in to show a component being inserted, I glance down in satisfaction at my own, more wrinkled than they once were, but still feminine fingers. That's when I realise, they didn't trust a girl to put the components together. I start, as she 'apparently' adds the cooling fan over the processor. What did she say? "Thermal grease?" What's that? I pause the video and think. I search my kitchen. I come up with a packet of Lard and a can of WD40. I'm not prepared to experiment this early in my computer building career. Hmmmm. With a lighter heart, having realised I couldn't possibly build my new computer today, on account of having no thermal grease, I decide to tackle the next component. First to hand is the cooling fan, so recently starring in the mpeg I'd just finished watching. No paperwork, but a website to go and read the installation instructions. I congratulate myself on being so wise. If I'd already destroyed my old computer, I could never have gone and found out what to do! The first website I come to has not been written by someone comfortable in the english language. It's also the wrong website, although owned by the right company. I link hop for a while until I find what I hope is the right place. I am concerned that they may be saying completely the wrong thing, on account of not speaking english or being able to tell me their own website address. Lacking any alternatives, painfully reading through the installation pdf, I find that I could have saved myself the bother, you just plonk it on and do up the screws. I'll just have to trust them. Gosh, glitter babe was right, they're mentioning thermal grease again. It's now 23.30 and I really ought to go to bed soon. I can't cope with looking at any more manuals at the moment. I'll build my new computer tomorrow, honestly. I'd have done it today if I had any thermal grease.

LOL!!! I'm afraid you're braver than I am. I leave computer building to rent-a-tech. Can't even send you any thermal grease, whatever that is (sounds liquidy). Perhaps computer elves will put it together for you while you sleep. Good luck, and thanks for the laugh!

oh..my..please. The thermal grease goes between your processor and your heat sink (the waffel-lookin' thang), to more efficiently transfer heat away from the chip, and into the air. (These puppies can get up to 150 degrees..I should know, my son did it..;)
Usually there's a piece of plastic on the bottom of the heat sink. I don't know for yours, but that's most likely where it is. As long as there's a good connection between the heat sink and the processor, you're doing good. Some have a fan that blows on the processor, so much the better. 2 caveats on building your own..the cases are finished on the outside, but not the inside (I call it 'blood sacrifice to the Computer Gods'..;) Just be careful moving your fingers inside the case. It won't kill ya, but it does sting..;) 2nd- the hardest part I ever have is getting all those #$%^ little wires to the relevant parts on the system board. The wires are usually labelled, and sometimes there's a barely helpful diagram in the booklet..well, it depends on the manufacturer. Once you've got all the parts, you'll need some special screws called standoffs (unless the gave you a sort of plastic 'buttons' which is old-school..;) These go into the case itself. You'll know them because they have threads going into them. Line these up with the holes on your system boards (usually have a silver 'ring' around them), and screw them into the case (the case is built to take several different types of boards, so you may not have to screw them all in. Just enough to make sure the board doesn't bend. You'll probably need to punch out the I/O ports in the back (this is where I usually wind up making my 'blood sacrifice'..;), and often you'll get several plates to cover the back, but these aren't always necessary. Carefully line up the system board with the standoff screws, then take the other screws (should be a plastic bag full of them) out and screw them into the tops of the standoffs. Once that's done, you'll want to start threading cables. There should be at least 3; 2 for the hard drives/CD Roms/Burners, etc., and 1 for the floppy. On each, you'll notice that 1 side has a different color to it. That's the pin 1 side. If the board makers are nice, there should be a 1 on it, if not, usually there's one 'missing' pin that tells you which way the cable goes in. The main HD usually is on the first or primary socket on the system board, and if you use more than 2 HD/CD/etcs., you'll put them on the Secondary controller. (I should stop and talk about Master and Slave settings, but that's hopefully not a problem, since you're transferring from one unit to the other. Unless you're making changes [adding new drives, or removing one from the new machine], you shouldn't have to mess with them). once you have the drive cables connected, you need to attach the wire harness from the Power supply to the drives. There should be at least 1 harness that goes to the system board (it's usually keyed), but there may be 2. Drives are pretty much connected the same way they come out of the old one; they're also keyed so they can only go in 1 way. Once all your drives are attached and power cables connected, you're almost ready. Now, depending on how new your new system board is, you may be able to skip some of the cards you want to put in. However, check the manual before doing that. I got an ASUS for the one I built in November, which had an Nvidia, Digital sound, all the ports..yadayada..;) so I didn't have to put too much in. Take the slot covers off 1 at a time. If you have an AGP video card to put in, it's usually the oddball connector on the system board closest to the power supply. If not, you probably have PCI, which can fit in any slot. I would suggest the ones that have cables to be attached be put in in such a way that they don't get on top of each other (easier said than done) You can probably ignore the last..;) Once your cards are in, you have the unenviable job of connecting all the tiny wires to the edge of the system board. These are things like the hard drive light, power switch (sometimes this goes to another part of the system board, which is a blessing..;), etc. Look on the black plastic ends, and sometimes they'll say 'pwr', or 'hdd', etc., so you look on the system board for similar indications (there's usually 1-2 rows of copper pins sticking up, that's what you're looking for). Use your manual faithfully, and you should be good to go. Now if you're using some of the onboard features, like Video, or audio, etc., you should have a CD that has the drivers for this. This will come in handy. Treasure it, and put it in a place where you know you can lay your hands on it in the future..because you'll need it. Trust me..;) If everything's set right, the computer should come on, a little confused about it's identity, but hopefully with a readable screen (hate it when that happens). If you get a working screen, you'll get many messages saying, in effect 'hey boss, what is this thing, and what do I do with it?'..hence the driver disk. I know 95 (woops, dating myself..;) will 'discover' everything on the new system board, so don't worry about that. Once you get this far, you're pretty much ready to go. There will probably be some issues at first, because it's so many changes from one to the other. As I'm sure every lawyer would tell me, I hope the above is helpful, but I can't guarantee I'm right about all of it, since I don't know what you got. I've been building PC's since my first 'DIY' 286 (now I'm really dating myself..;) back in the early 90's. If the web site doesn't help, look for a Tech Support number. There's nothing like having a human bean to ask questions of..(I'm in the business, but more deskside support..;) and I use them to this day. Have the manual handy, it seldom goes right on the first try, but as long as there's no sparks, smoke, or loud beeping..it should be ok. If you do run into trouble, you might try Dialyn's approach..they do this every day. (Just make sure you back up your data first..programs can be reloaded, but when data's gone, it's gone..) Good luck, sorry to be long-winded..but you never know, it might be helpful..a little..

uh..on reading this back, I have a lot of sentence fragments..I hope I'm not scaring you..;)

I'm wondering how a person follows instructions on their computer when taking apart their computer. Maybe you should do some print outs before taking anything apart. :/ If you do run into trouble, you might try Dialyn's approach..they do this every day.. Actually Dialyn's approach is hiring someone before you run into trouble. But that's just me.

P.S. I rarely take my own advice.

s'ahright..;) Yeah, the mighty screen cap, or cut and paste has wound up in many a document. I do this all the time with Bryce screen caps in the Bryce forum. (I know just what you mean about the directions, we have a database that only needs to be accessed when you can't get on the network, and, yep, it's on a network server..;)

LOL, and then i apologize for laughing cuz I been there sister!

Day 2. I wake with a crick in my neck and a bad attitude towards children. Determined I would not backslide on my computer building venture, I left the boxes on my bed and slept on the sofa. I endure two hours of so called teenaged wit from my son, including such helpful comments as "Buy a sofa bed mum, you'll be there for months" and "Is that your entry for the Tate?" Finally he goes to school. I am alone with my computer at last. Suddenly I feel it is vitally important that I check Renderosity, who knows, someone may have looked at my home page, or sent me an im? I read the responses to my trials and tribulations of Day 1. I toy with the idea of falling in love with pakled, but content myself instead with printing off the whole thread. Dialyns suggestion is a good one too, I set out to print off all the info I can. An hour later, I'm feeling seasick. My printer is balanced beside my monitor on top of a rickety shelf, as the print head moves from side to side the whole construction sways. Fortunately I've printed off all the instructions before I have to throw up, now I'd better go shopping. Well, I asked for thermal grease, but what they gave me was (glances down at packet) Ceramic Polysynthetic Thermal Compound. I check out their website, somewhat daunted by the fact that the first thing I see is an announcement that someone is selling a fake of their product. Two minutes later you can hear me screeching on the other side of the city "Clean my processor with Acetone? Are you mad?" I seriously consider getting my gas mask out of my tool kit (Oh yes, I have my very own gas mask, especially imported in from the far east on account of having a teeny tiny head and a low tolerance for amongst other things acetone and toluene, but that's a completely different story) but I'm not sure I have the correct filter to hand. Spluttering, I continue to read. Thank goodness, there are other alternatives, I'll use one of those then. The last few pages printed off, I finally have to start building my computer. Coward that I am, I begin by putting the feet on the case. I spend the next ten minutes trying to remove the motherboard housing board (or whatever it's called, I can't remember off hand) with absolutely no success. I am not prepared to use a crowbar, so I decide to give up trying to get it out and get on with the job in hand. So then, of course, I fit the floppy drive. It's easy, it doesn't get in the way, I've done it before and it gives me a confidence boost. (you can tell I know how sad that is, I've come up with four excuses) I put the case back in it's new home. It's looking more like a real computer already. I spend a few seconds happily clicking the buttons on the front of the case, then curse as I realise I no longer know whether they are on or off. I'm out of options, I have to tackle the motherboard now. I finally open the packet and instantly I am transported to aroma heaven. I'd forgotten how good new electronics can smell. If I breathe in any deeper, some of the components may fly off the board and right up my nose. My nostrils are so widely flared, trying to take in all this good stuff, I really believe I could jam my thumbs up my nose without them even touching the sides. Just now, it smells so good I don't care. If I don't breathe out soon I may explode. I've loaded up the mpeg again, and I carefully watch as the processor is inserted. Hang on, did she say put it between the processor and the pc, or the processor and the heat sink? With that accent I'm really not sure, and this is a crucial issue. It's that bothersome thermal grease again, causing me problems. I agonise for a bit, searching websites on how to put pcs together but can't find anyone who is putting anything between the pc and the processor, so I decide not to do it either. Turning blue in the face, I turn away from the motherboard, now with processor correctly inserted and exhale explosively. I have suddenly developed a runny nose but my hands are encased in transparent sandwich bags (as per instructions) so I am forced to run to the bathroom and wipe my nose on the toilet tissue before I get too alternative with the greasing options. Now it's time for the fan. Hmm. It seems simple enough, but there's always some kind of catch. I am trying to be gentle, but thinking once again about crowbars. When they said you wouldn't be able to do the second clip up without using a tool they really meant it, I'm going to have an imprint of the end of one screwdriver on my palm for days. I have had to use one as a lever to move the clip out enough to clear the bit of plastic it's going to clip onto, and another to force it down. I hope the creaking sound I'm sure I heard was just my paranoia. I glance at the clock and sigh with relief, I have to pack this stuff away and get ready for my shift. I've still got my old pc, for another day at least. I've even managed to clear the bed, so I'll sleep well tonight. It's late, I'm home from work, gutted to discover that one of the girls on my team builds computers for a living and would have been willing to help me, apart from the fact that she's leaving the country on Friday for six months. Tomorrow, I'll have to start tearing my old pc apart, but for now, we can take one last trip into cyberspace and surf the web. Come on PII, strut your stuff one more time for me.

I think you are well on your way to being the Erma Bombeck of the computer set! :)

I'm flattered, but I think the Missus might have 'issues'..;) There's so much I forgot to throw in. With the advent of the 386/486, they went from rectangular processors (only 1 wrong way to put them in), to square (3 wrong ways to put them in). Used to be, there would be a tiny, triangular part cut off the 'pin 1 corner', with a red dot on top. I think since the Pentiums, there's an extra pin on the bottom to prevent you from putting it in wrong (the only time I actually saw smoke coming out of a computer was when one of our more 'directions-challenged' techs put a 386 in sideways..;)
It's Processor on the bottom, glue/whatever on top of the processor, and then heat sink on top..;)
What's with the transparent sandwich bags? I think someone's finally come up with a sillier idea than the Static Strap (recommended, but seldom used). never actually used Acetone in a PC shop before, or Toulene (thought about using the Tri-Nitro version on a coupla machines, tho..;). Usually the thermal 'glue'is a sort of cakey stuff, falls apart a lot. As long as you have a good physical contact between the processor and heat sink/fan, you're doing fine. Some of the cases actually come apart on both sides, so you can swing the motherboard side out of the unit, and work at your leisure..depends on what you got, I guess..;)
Well, I don't know if you'll be able to read this, unless you haven't started yet. I'd check with the woman who does it for a living, I only rebuild every 2 years or so, and this business changes every 3 months..I mean that it changes almost completely..;) good luck.

My computer is under constant upgrade. I built it from scratch, but then I've had computers in my home (40+) sine 1978. (everything from a Commodore Pet through my current Athlon) Each was torn apart when it's time came to learn secrets to pass on to the newer model. My current one was built in Feb 2000. So you know what pakled was saying this baby is about to be offerred up also. Its funny the only problems Ive had have come from microsoft now the computer itself.

Tjames gets braggin' rights on that..;) Dang, I couldn't even afford a PC until '85, and that was a Leading Edge Model D..;) Actually, the original 286 I built has been 'upgraded' to an Athelon 2k, just one case and 'mutha' board after another. I think the greatest number of PC's under my roof was 5 (including a Mac LC II, which probably still works..;). You go, Tjames..;)

Haven't upgraded yet still have a 900mghz model, but 500meg of ram and a twin 40hdd. Its holding its own. The old commodore had 8k of ram 14k of rom and sped the computations through at a blistering 550 hertz. I had an osborne suitcase computer for a while with the amazing twin 5.25 in floppies and a Apple Lotus computer...But every new system has its quicks. I used the grease on my Pentium 90's and those CPU's are still in my nostalgia drawer. I got ya on the greatest number though I had 11 at one time including a server.

I just built an Athlon system last month. A 2000+ with 80 gig hard drive (to store all my Bryce WIPs), 512K Corsair RAM, DVD, CD/RW, etc. Current inventory, is now six computers, one laptop, and one full sized Hard Drivin' arcade game. Good luck Shanna. If you do need some tips, check out overclockers.com or motherboards.com.

Sorry about that, I'm just a little excited right now, I'll finish my story tonight, but I just had to check out if my internet connection was working. Shanna :-) getting the doorframes increased in size to fit her new giant ego inflated head through :-)

now you join a select society of bloody-knuckled 'cheapskates', who don't get as overcharged on new equipment as your average newbie. Take pride, and welcome to the club..;)

Hey, some of us are just lazy, not newbie. ;-) I upgrade my stuff, but if it's time to do a full processor upgrade, I just get a new machine and transfer the drives, etc. to it. I figure the cost of the CPU, motherboard, and research to get components that actually work together properly is almost as much as getting a Dell. And, if it doesn't work when I first hit the power button, I have some one else to yell at. (I'm also the one who's broken memory slots, inserted memory upside down despite the off-centered slots and had a friend insert a processor wrong so he fried the entire motherboard and CPU.) Congrats, Shanna! It's a great feeling to get your hands on the actual components, let alone get them all working.

To quote one of the March Challenge poems: Age, too high a price to pay for wisdom, Knowledge is not worth the bitter price paid; Nor, the passing of the plans youth has laid, That tumble to earth like withered blossoms Courtesy of Charmz. When I lost a 13G hdd last year because a plate was scratched, and lost my Ray Dream Studio, it took all the things I had learned previously to put all of the pieces back together and get up and running again with minimal loss. Some of my drivers were missing. Some had passwords I couldn't find. And as I reinstalled Windows 2000 wiping everything away, despite product claims it would not happen I see there is a reason that the blossoms fall.