I like the away message. I generally feel out of my depth when critiquing poetry, I write poems primarily as song lyrics and so have different ideas about what works and what doesn't than most people. Therefore I will concentrate on your story. "She awoke in an unfamiliar place." This is a bit cliche. Also, perhaps, unnecessary considering the next lines. "With strange ugly curtains, and itchy, uncomfortable clothing. The bed was not hers. The room smelled of cabbage, not of lilacs and roses, the aroma she was so familiar to. Her face was buried in the pillow made of some strange fabric that she was unaccustomed to." Strange fabric that she was unaccustomed to is saying the same thing twice. Note the order of what you put down, you started with the curtains, and then the clothing and then the smell and then the pillow. This order does not seem to replicate the waking up process very well. For one thing, as the clothing and the pillow are closely related touch sensations they should probably happen together. Think about your main character. Is she really so visually oriented that she would notice the distant curtains first before the more intimate touch and smell sensations? If she is, that is a telling point about her personality, make a slightly bigger deal about it. Tell us what the "strange ugly" curtains actually look like. Otherwise, you probably want to relagate the curtains to last place. For a more touch oriented person she would wake up to the feel of strange scratchy pillow and rough poor fitting clothes. A smell oriented person would wake up to the smell of cabbage, wonder what had happened to her lilac air freshener, etc... Also, you are telling us her thoughts, rather than showing us her thoughts. This is a valid technique, and works well when the narrative voice is strong and interesting. But you aren't giving us a strong narrative voice, either. (Strong narrative voices are not currently in fashion in anything other than first person narratives.) As a result this passage is almost completely void of characterization and we are left with no concept of what this person is like. You might want to try a slightly more intimate viewpoint where you dip into her head, and we hear her thoughts as if they were conversation. When used well this technique provides a sense of character easily and elegantly. If you decide you don't want so intimate a pov, you need to really concentrate on characterization, because characterizing from the outside is more difficult. "Most of them of war, men on horses, knights, kings and queens. Then on the farthest wall a picture hung by the window that shocker her. It was a picture of her, dated several thousand years before she was born" IMHO, this "shocking" discovery needs to be brought out and explained a little more. What you have provided us with is a little too pat, and I don't believe in it. Slow it down, break it up into steps, and give us a little more description. Just telling us she is shocked is cold and unparticipatory, let us participate in the shock, by bringing us into the process. She scans the warriors and queens, and notices someone who resembles her. She looks closer, it is her, wearing [description of clothing that fits the period you are intending -- does it match what she has on?], then she notices the date... (where is this date anyway? On one of those little bronze plaques on the frame?). And, er, not to be a party pooper or anything, a "picture" is not likely to survive for "several thousand years", so you need to buffer that up with some suggestive hints to explain how such a thing happened. Other than the difficulty with the "several thousand years" bit, I really like your set up, you've presented us with some strong questions that we would like to see answered, and have certainly caught my interest. Although your visual detail is vague, you have a nice strong sense of touch detail, which seems to be a rarer gift, and as a kinestthetic reader myself, I particularly appreciated it. If you decide to go further with this, I would be interested in reading more. Hope this helps you.