Dear mods,

D@#! it! Why aren't you working 24/7 to fix every tiny problem I have and cater to my every whim? I need a systematic and (hopefully technological) solution to every single darned thing that just might annoy me. Ignoring frequent posters isn't enough; neither is reporting TOS violators. (They're too low-tech and non-intrusive.) I need you to coddle me and police everyone (else?!) who could ever possibly threaten my fragile peace of mind. Please assist me by taking them out back and pummelling them senseless with your high tech Klingon pain sticks or Evil Federation antagoonizer devices.

"Your antagonizer...Mr. Kyle!"

I want it all....now! now! now!

Oh...and by the way, I have this hangnail....

--lb
(the impotent, but self-satisfied center of everyone's universe)