The Rose Forgive me for being a rose in your garden, and filling your garden with scents. Forgive me for not being a tree, a shadow, instead of this small, insignifcant flower. Forgive me my worms, my wiltings, please forgive me for my thorns. And most of all, try to forget, that they have caused you pain. Forgive me my colors, my brilliant reds, how they shine through your level grass. Do not link me to your failures, but celebrate me for your attempts at gardening. Gather me on a special occasion, remember: you can be given only once. Make me a symbol for your loved ones, and make me a reward for your labors. Forgive me my future children, should I leave a batch of roses behind. Remember them for sake of me, and they shall be twice my worth. In return, I can promise nothing, but my daily efforts at scenting your breath. I promise nothing, but my colors, my wiltings, my leaves, and my thorns.

A suggestion, And a question :-) My suggestion The line about "my daily efforts scenting your breath" confused me, as I read it to mean the reader/person the rose is talking to must be eating roses, before I realised you meant the air was scented by the the rose. Perhaps you could rephrase that? Or have I got it wrong and they were eating them? My Question Do you mean "gather me on a special occasion, remember: I can be given only once" (ie the rose that is talking)? or, as you have written, that the reader/person the rose is talking to can only be given once? Shanna :-) All our poetry pros seem to be off for the holidays, so this is an amateur opinion :-)

The breath has two parts to inspire and expire the period repeated in respire. The scent of the rose on a breath, taken in during inspiration can bring thought to mind and therin lies a double meanining to the word: to inspire the scent of the rose is to inspire the mind. An excellent thought, Ian.

Well, being no poet, I will leave the suggestions to others. In general, it's a fresh and original piece. I liked it. (thanks for sharing)

I too was slightly discomfitted by the line "Gather me on a special occasion, remember: you can be given only once." Please explain what you were trying to say here? The lament flows pretty well until that portion, where the reader becomes disoriented.

A rose can only be picked once. That's my take on that line. Stanza 3 seems a bit out of place for me. Why should the rose feel discomfort at it's brilliant red color and why would it think it would be remembered with failure? It seems so odd to me that a rose would apologize. This is definitely a different take on the standard rose poems. Ah, the joys of being literally minded in a poetry discussion .... The heathen will slink out the room now. ;-)

Crescent got the hang of it in the "gather" line. When I wrote this poem, I was thinking of a wild rose that grew accidentally in a person's garden.... something like the rose in The Little Prince: You just never know if it's a weed or what until it blooms. Being unexpected and out of place in the garden, it feels uncomfortable about its appearance. It, however, knows its true values deep inside. The rose says "you can be given only once" and not "I", becuase its relating to its gardener. In the rose's reality, it can only be picked once; but in he grdener's reality, the rose is talking about love: Once you truly give yourself to someone, it can't be done ever again. It's never the same. I do agree it's hard to understand. I guess I was writing too much for myself and not for a reader, lol Oh, Shanna, on the "breath" thing. Tjames caught that one perfectly. Thanks so much, everybody, for all the comments and I'm glad you liked it. I blush now.

Very beautiful, I love this poem. Sorry I can't add to this comment, I just don't know what else to say. :)