Very convoluted. It almost sounds like someone did a word-for-word translation from another language. I think dialyn's "Press the keys as shown in the example." would work much better. I've done some tech writing. Short, simple sentences in Noun, Verb, Predicate (or just Verb, Predicate) form work best. 2) "Speed of dark" would be a twist on the "speed of light" concept. "Speed of darkness" might be used for how quickly the shadows are lengthening as the sun sets, the light dims, etc. 3) You need to use an adverb here because you are talking about how he wanted to leave. Leave is a verb, so you have to use an adverb to modify it, such as quickly. 4) Beating sounds better to me, but then you'd have to change the punctutation slightly: "It is that one pitch in a thousand you see in slow motion, its wings beating slowly as a hawk's." "... it's wing beating slowly as a hawks." is not a full sentence so you'd need to use a comma instead of a semi-colon to separate it out. I can't think of a grammatical rule that says why "beating" is better than "beat." It may just be a style issue. I don't think "beat" is wrong; it just doesn't sound as good to me. 5) Either way is correct. It depends on the timing. If you want the actions to be more simultaneous, emphasizing that the brushing and caressing are taking place as you contemplated, then the past progressive (-ing form) works. If you want the actions to be more of a sequence and to emphasize each individual action, then the past tense (-ed form) is fine. Cheers! Crescent 00E - licensed to kill the English language ;-)

Forum: Writers

Subject: A few usage questions