"Daddy no!" she cried, as he walked out of her life. Small and alone she stood and watched him go. Broken heart bleeding inside her childs breast. The truth of fighting and ugliness she doesnt know. "Daddy no!" she cried, as he plunged into her body. Fear and pain mingle with the unbearable shame. Broken spirit lies crumpled, tossed aside like refuse. No longer innocent, bears the sin that has no name. "Daddy no!" she cried, as he beat her to senselessness. Rage begins to build where once lived love so fair. Battered body lies weak and used upon the floor. Silent screams reverberate as he brushes back her bloody hair. "Daddy no!" she cried, as they placed him in the ground. She threw the dirt in that dark hole, heard it strike the wood. Love and fear waged war inside the empty shell of an angel. "God, if You bring him back to me, I promise I will be good." Have you told your children that you love them today? NO? get to it then darn it!

Do all men have to be portrayed in such negative terms? We are animals it's true, but animals with souls and hearts as well. I think this type of view of men as beasts without feeling is perverse, and that we should work on a more honorable and enlightened visage.

I am terribly saddened if you had the misfrotune of knowing a person like this. They are merely a product of lack of purpose. Aimlessly wandering their own minds, attempting to fill a void they are not even aware of. This is not the norm however. There are men, true men in all the essence of the word, that are strong, fierce, and passionate. They love the fight, and the beauty. Please do not allow an experience like that mold your perception of all men. Though the number may be fewer ever second of every day, there are still real men in this world, you just have to know where to look.

Whoa babies, I LOVE men, don't get me wrong.. is just an interpretation of a set of experiences in my life.. not a description of my life. I choose not to be a victim but a survivor and one who has not only survived but also thrived. I do NOT see all men as abusers, in fact I know women who could be portrayed in the same light. I apologize to all men who may be offended and think that this is my perception of all men.

I wouldn't have thought writers would mistake a specific character as being a generalization. The male character doesn't represent all men any more than the child represents the experience of all women. In this case, the poem is shocking but very specific, and not at all a generalization or stereotyping. I would never mistake it as representing all men, nor do I really think Charmz needs to apologize, though it is gracious of her to do so. It's a difficult subject to deal with....but this is a horror that happens all too often and a writer has the right to explore it in a literary setting.

Nor do I feel that all men should apologize and make reparation for the actions of the few. I do not want pity, just understanding... Thanks dialyn for your kind words.

I absolutely agree with you, Charmz. Each individual is responsible for his or her own actions. That anyone with power would take advantage of someone because they are weaker, younger, or somehow vulnerable is reprehensible. I don't care if they are male or female...it is a terrible thing when a child or an old person or anyone who is weaker is brutalized by someone who is stronger. Charmz, understanding is hard to come by in a selfish world where we tend to get caught up in our own wants and needs, and our own hurt feelings. But understanding and compassion is the one thing we really should work on as humans and as writers. The poem is strong and hard to read because it is all too true for too many children. Take care.

I think it is graceful and professional of you to publish this. In that way it can be seen as either a fiction made up from expectations or an exageration of some real incidents. The emphasis on vengeance is characteristic of today's litigous society. I would be much more concerned if you were to personalize some anecdote in a synopsis and try to reek vengeance on a member of your immediate family based on the possibility that it was a way to get money or power. Sometimes people are weak and powerless for good reason. Humbleness can find the connection with no need for avenging angels. I wish I still had my countermeasures site up so you would have some tips for actual safety and security. Remember, only the heterosexuals will survive in a Darwinian sense. If any one does not understand this, be patient with them.

Charmz, what you have written is very moving, but I personally disagree strongly with one half of a line. "No longer innocent" The rest seems to be written from a more detached perspective, this one bit is a thought that would only come from the inside. Your little girl is innocence abused. She is an innocent victim in this situation, not a guilty party. You write so powerfully, you are a joy to read, even when the words you write hurt. Shanna. ps I tell my son I love him every day. He groans (he's 14 going on 95) but I tell him anyway. Now and then, he tells me back:-) But thanks for the reminder.

The no longer innocent line refers to the hatred that the child feels toward the abuser. That is the 'sin that has no name'. The love/hate thing that goes on in the childs mind. Only five more years Shanna and he will remember how much you mean to him. (not that he has truly forgotten) About the time they move out and begin thier own lives they realize that mum wasn't so bad after all. I am a lucky mom, my 16 year old still wants me to kiss her goodnight.. and even walks with me in public.

The story you might find interesting is of Noah in the Old Testament. It seems that Noah's wife died and only his two daughters were left. No other humans were on earth after the flood. Noah's daughters who were young took it upon themselves to get their father drunk and to sedduce him into going into them. Thus the human race survived. I don't have a daughter so the story doesn't become a open door to me. Taboos and morals and laws of today reflect substantial prejudice against such an outcome. Your story compares and contrasts these changes.

Aren't you mixing Noah up with Lot? Lot, unwillingly committed incest with his two daughters. (Gen 19:34-36) Noah had sons. None of this has anything to do with giving feedback on the poem. We are straying.

Let's not getstarted on the whole Lot, Soddom and Gommorah thing. I could go on for hours on that! :( It's a very powerful poem. One that I can relate to a bit more than most. (Though thankfully not exactly.) My only suggestion is to break it up into recognizable stanzas. The flow of ideas is very distinct, so I think structuring it on the page to reflect this would help.