I prefer the second one. Strenght, pride, intelligence and doubt. the future is somewhat hazy. And, even if you did not mention it, we feel that something terrible is happening. Black and white delivers more meaning (less is more) than color in that case. Lights have a "Karsh" quality I like, as in the Hemingway portrait (...maybe softer). As for your real worries, I sympathize a lot. Hang on. PH