Quoting:
Naked Neanderthal woman with a bone club in a cave.
- Show me.
- "Neanderthal" does not qualify as "buff."
The whole point of the Vickie/Vallejo silliness is the completely inappropriate nudity. If you were going to fight a poisonous, armor-plated, flying ten-foot iguana, would you do it in a gold lame bikini with a sword from Fredrick's Weaponne Boutique? How come NV's always go into battle with protection on boobs and pubes, but not belly and femoral artery?
- A "bone club" does not qualify as a "sword."
The typical NVST sword is a cumbersome Baroque piece of plastic (if it were metal, even Arnold couldn't lift it). I love the spindly NV's toting dual-blade battle axes with more surface area than a full breastplate. Those things weight what? Thirty pounds? You want to see how two-handed swords work, watch the duel of champions in El Cid. Vallejo "weapons" remind me of the flinching Amazon bimbo in the first battle scene of Red Sonja. "Ewwww! He hit my sord!"
- A "cave" does not qualify as a "temple."
That's a quibble, though, because most NVST temples do not qualify as "temples" either. NVST temples are generally architectural impossibilities with only one function--providing a backdrop for the T&A show. As near as I can tell, a "temple" in a NVST is just a glorified feed lot.
In all fairness, naked males committing mayhem is a venerable artistic tradition, so I guess we could see NVST's as a blow for femininism....
Yeah, right.
M
