I don't know, what is the world coming to? I went to get a newspaper this morning and the guy had changed it so the newspapers are now on the right, not the left. Well, you can imagine my dismay. I just walked in and I couldn't believe it. It was the first I'd heard about such a drastic reorganisation. No consultation, no nothing. So I said to him, I said, what's all this about? Changing things the hell and all around? Don't you know that when I look suddenly to the right I sometimes become vapourous and fall to the ground in a semi-faint? Had he bothered to check my medical history? Had he heck! And right-swivel comatose predilictions aside, I am so used to reaching for the newspaper with my left hand that I'm sure my left hand will grab instictively and uncontrollably at the sight of the newspapers, thus flailing across the centre aisle and impacting the biscuit display, causing heaven knows what carnage. Fair enough, things need to change, I can accept that, but making such blatently retrograde reorganisations without so much as an please and a thankyou leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. And all in the name of progress. Pah! Needless to say, I refused to purchase any of his ridiculously positioned newspapers and returned home empty-handed but morally victorious.