Bartender: Last call, buddy. Satan: I don't want to go home. Bartender: You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. I like both, too, but it looks like you put your heart into the second one.

This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy