Well, I'm bummed that more people didn't give this a try, because it is a great exercise in self-editing. It is a close call for me, but I choose jstro as #1 because I know from experience how difficult it is to write at length and resist the call of the adverb....and I enjoyed the story in its own right too. This makes, for me, ecoarena's tightly written yet very effective poem a second not far behind. I'd be happy if both could win. :) Good job to both of you. Thank you for setting a high standard for, respectively, prose and poetry in the same challenge.