Very strong. I like the visual language that makes it come alive, especially the colors: onyx, inky, scarlet. Add an apostrophe for the possessive in "the ground's upheaval" and I think insistent has an "e" rather than "a". I think the two end lines are very strong, and also evocative of some classic work that I can't finger at the moment. Is it "The bell tolls, it tolls for me"? -Joe