oooh Dear one. I was wondering what this grief was you kept speaking of. I thought it was an italian equivalent of memorial day or something as when you spoke of it, it sounded like a noun. I feel your pain too and things are not the same. Shadows have fallen. Take as long as you need, do not feel obligated to surf as we care about you and getting your mind back to a peaceful place. She is not gone forever and we will all catch up to her soon. No more than a few decades. Let me know if there is anything I can do. Peace dear.