I really want to thank everyone for all the help and advice here. The disjointedness occured when I took a bathroom break and had what i call "a urination epiphany." It's not just the Hot20 and the modern art stuff, it's more about my life as a general thing. All my life I have always done things for myself and others, not seeking recognition but always desiring it. I have never made an image i expected to be in the Hot20, but I will admit I do get angry when I see images in there that I don;t approve of. I almost never browse the galleries. it was only recently that i knew there WAS a Hot20, I always spend most of my time making images and keeping up in the forum rather than posting my little experiemnts or browsing the galleries. I'll get to the point. None of my images have ever been in the Hot20. None of my images have ever been accepted into the bryce forum select gallery. I find myself continously helping people and writing tutorials and posting freestuff and keeping up in the forum, and yet people always seem to forget me when they give thanks. I don't mind, but when it happens over and over it gets to me. When people make images that have the names of many brycers in the scenes I find many of the regular members but rarely my name. I feel like i am being forgotten. I know life isn;t fair. I know it never will be, but I'm beginning to wonder if it's worth it anymore. I don't care if I never get any sort of award for my images, but if i care, should i still make them?