try PARENTING the wings NOT conforming ... when you save your character in the library you will be asked (you MUST have installed the patch > 4.0.2) if you will store the person only or the whole group - choose whole group. this won't help for stored poses, but it will keep the wings attached to for example the chest ... for storing poses I suggest you make - for example - two poses: one for the person and one for the wings ... this should work