Cool idea, I like the fact that you didn't over-do the camera work! One thing that I think could be changed: the whole story point is that the guy gets away from the monster by pushing himself up the tunnel, right? Well, it's not clear enough. You need to draw the audiences attentio to it so firmly that they can't mis it. two ways that you can do that: 1) Intercut a shot of the guy preparing to push (anticipation) with a shot of the monster making a lunge for him, then a two shot of the guy actually pushing off as the monster narrowly misses him. You then need the payoff, you see him disappear into the tunnel and the monster crashes into a wall or falls into an airlock or something. 2) Keep it as one master shot but dolly in closer to the guy as he gets ready to push off so that he is taking up most of the shot; once he shoves off, the monster can fall into the camera. Also, he needs to push much harder; there is no gravity, but inertia is still an issue, it still takes force to get the mass to move. Good luck. Chris