Ornlu, there is a way to find out what you seek.. My situeation was very similar to yours, but i was 5 the last time I saw him. when I was 19, and my mother could no longer tell me not to see him, or him not to see me, I went to His mothers house...to kinda catch up....see who I really was, where I came from.... 2 days later, he was waiting for me when I came home from work... We had scattered meetings over the next 3 years, seeing each other maybe 5 times... Then His accident, and He was gone... I am thankful for the few visits we had, tho I wish there were more...that He could have seen His grandchildren.. Now I visit HIs family...which is really mine as well..even if they dont' feel like it yet. I learned of his accident the day I found out I was carrying my scond baby... and hell if she isn't the spitting image of him in looks and behavior... I really have my hands full...LOL Try to get in touch with those he was close to in the last few years...see where he lived, where he worked....who he cared for.... those will tell you more about him then anything will... I hope that what you find, is what you need to know.... and it turns out as well as my experience.. hugsssssssssss Jen