Zhann, please hold on to hope, but know that things can run in a bad spell for a time. I know all about linking unrelated things. The first time I seriously tried to lose weight, I got down to a very nice size, and my husband almost left me. Took me years (five to be exact) before I put my full efforts into losing the weight again. I knew it was silly to link weight loss to husband leaving but I did it again and this time he did leave, LOL! Ok but also, we would get paid every two weeks and twice a year we'd have a month that would have 3 paychecks in it. But it seemed like everytime one of those months came up he would lose his job. It was rough, really rough for a while. I hope you fair better than I did although I may not be any worse off without my husband. Sometimes I think things happen for a reason and other times I just can't see it. I also know what you're feeling, for me it was tough to keep moving, going to work, getting out of bed etc. My thoughts are with you and anytime you need an ear just IM me. Angela