HUGSSSSSS Zhann I'm sorry to hear about all of your troubles, but if there's one thing i learned....things happen for a reason....always, and without doubt... without going too personal, here's a lighter less private example... a summer about 4 years ago, i found out i was pregnant with my second baby... the next day, i got a call from my grandmother saying that my biolical father (who i had just recently gotten to know) had a very very bad accident the day before... the safety failed on a gun he was using to lay russion roulette with, he was body was still funcioning with support, but he died instantly as far as his brain is concerned. I cried for a long time that i wouldn't have the chance to know him as a daughter should, and that he never got to know his granddaughters... Now, 4 years later, i have a beautiful lil girl, who is the spitting image of him, in both looks and behavoir (which isn't always a good thing lol) So I know he is close.... I dotn' believe in reincarnation, but i believe he is her guardian angel, watching over her, protecting her and guiding her and maybe teaching her a few things here and there.... things always happen for a reason....we may not know, or like the reasons, but they are there... try to use this time to look inside you....to see what you are made of, and to find your inner strength...the you that is inside just waiting to get out and kick some a..err ummm butt....lol use this time to become strong in who you are, not what you are or what you have...but the Jan inside... i wish you the best of luck, and am praying that things will begin working out again..... Jen