It's great to see you back! I keep getting stuck on the last few lines as well. I love the first part, but I can't quite reconcile the last 4 lines. You might want to turn it into 3 stanzas, with the last 2 stanzas being the last 4 lines. (I think that's what you suggested above but I'm not sure.) It may sound quibbling, but should "This unknown shepherd" be "The unknown shepherd" instead? "This" makes it sound like there's more than one and you're pointing out a specific one, which seems strange since he's unknown. I wish I could be of more help but I can't put my finger on what doesn't fit on those last few lines. The first part is right on target, though. Cheers!