Quest: Puts hands up in gesture of surrender I didn't learn to swim until I was 19. I had ear problems and operations that meant (way back then) I wasn't allowed to enter the water in case I drowned because water would flood my ears and drain into the back of my throat. Eventually while at sea (British Merchant Navy) the guys discovered that I couldn't swim....oh joy! I was suddenly dragged from the crew bar, up to the deck and thrown fully clothed into the swimming pool, which thank God was full! This practise continued for a week, by the end of which #1 I didn't have a dry piece of kit and #2 I could indeed swim! 2 weeks later I was swimming with the rest of them in the eastern Med while the ship was at anchor, guarded by a guy on the bridge-wing who was armed with a .303 in case of sharks........which brings us nicely back to where we started..........!

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All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster

And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...