Since I usually break all my new years resolutions anyway I thought this year I'd make some that would be easy to break and with that in mind here goes: Smoke and drink more, gain at least thirty pounds and get into really bad physical shape, get at least one speeding ticket this year, vote for all republicans and generally be more politically absurd, do absolutely nothing constructive, break at least three bones while downhill skiing, quit stating obscure and baseless rumors about secret underground military bases, discover the lost Dutchman Mine before Groingrinder does* and not be such a nice guy. but as this is the second I don't think these resolutions count: thank Milhouse for technicalities. - TJ * actually from what I hear, The Strategic Air Command has already discovered The Lost Dutchman Mine and due to the high copper content of the country rock surrounding the mine, has been using it as an electromagnetically hardened underground base just outside of Phoenix for at least the last 30 years. It is further rumored that there is some sort of off-worldly artifact similar to the Chauk Ra'I in StarGate housed there which is from what I've heard so far, one of the best pizza ovens in the SouthWest.