The food in Wales is just fine, thank you very much! But this ain't Wales. The markings in the road are the wrong colour for a start. This could just be....the B217 near the village of Dogs Bollocks. Nice place but don't touch the beer! Sam, you almost did it. You almost created the perfect scene. Any more realism and you'd have had me fooled...sigh.

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All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster

And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...