I think you have a really great start. You have a few lighting and shadow issues, but nothing too distracting. I would use a different type of text box and font though. The shadow on the box is a little distracting. The boxes are a little bit too big as well. For the font I would pick something a little more compact like Franklin or Impact. Also in frames with only internal monolog, perhaps the thoughts scripted in a box at the top would be better than a thought bubble. Hope this helps :)