Forum: Writers


Subject: Feedback?

TheAlex opened this issue on May 03, 2004 ยท 4 posts


dialyn posted Mon, 03 May 2004 at 9:58 PM

Just a suggestion...be careful how you structure a sentence. From your story: "I scrambled over to herstraight through the mouth...she's not breathing." I'm not surprised she wasn't breathing if you scrambled straight into her mouth. It's an unhappy visual.