Funny how the only things I am told I win are contests I didn't enter. The sad thing is how many people fall for this (must be a lot of people, or they wouldn't bother to run this kind of advertising). I love all the flashing pop-ups that say things like, "You are visitor #3487201933729932028372 to this site and you have just won your weight in platinum!" Yeah, sure I have.

This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy