Advice:- Visit the great wall of China Don't eat the food Don't drink the water Don't take any petrol (we haven't got enough as it is) Don't stand in front of any tanks (Bad taste - I know) Don't wear T-Shirts with J Edgar on the front Don't protest about the environmental issues associatated with building big hydro-electric dams Dogs are regarded as food Sex is defined as 'Long Time' and 'Short Time' Chairman Mao is regarded as a 'Hero of the People' - not a 'pinko-commi-bastard'. Have a great time!

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All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster

And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...