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Poser - OFFICIAL F.A.Q (Last Updated: 2024 Nov 29 1:45 am)



Subject: LOL- Major Brain Fart!


shadownet ( ) posted Fri, 06 August 2004 at 10:29 PM · edited Fri, 29 November 2024 at 5:03 AM

So here I am just working merrily away in Poser Pro, almost in auto pilot mode. Fingers flying across the keyboard like I have done hundreds of times before, suddenly my whole screen interface changes. What the...! Oh, wait, I've seen this before, it is that old hidden Poser 2 interface. How the heck did I get that! Darn darn darn. Now what's those hot keys again, and how on earth did I just accidentally type them. I swear I was pressing the number 2 key to switch to BODY. Racking brain, trying combinations. No, not that one. That brings up the four cameras. No not that one, that switches to the lights. No not that one, that grows hair. I know, I will go search the forum. Yes!!!!!! Found it, the old Pos 2 and Pos 3 Yippie. But how the heck I got to that interface in the first place. Major brain fart is all I can figure. So beware guys and gals, prolong use of Poser can lead to strange mental behavior. Remember you heard it here first. (Psst, I even find myself talking to myself - even worse, making deals with Poser. Please please please, this time cast a shadow where I want it. Please please please, move just an nudge not a whole freaking inch when I turn the dial. Please please please, let me go, I'm tired, and I really need my sleep, don't keep me here captive anylonger. Please let me go.....) Oops, got to run, here come those guys in the white jackets. He he he he....(runs away humming, their coming to take me away ha ha.....)


KarenJ ( ) posted Sat, 07 August 2004 at 5:21 AM

Oh man, I talk to Poser all the time, I thought I was the only weird one!

"Please put the shadows where I want them... please... oh for $*! sake! Why are they there? What are you doing that for? Now what are you doing? No! Don't crash! Nooooooo!!!!"

Sometimes I feel less like an artist and more like someone sacrificing and performing rituals to the Great God(ess) Poser...

"Remember, child, before adding new lights and rendering, you must always delete the existing lights."
"But why is that, Revered Elder?"
"Because otherwise Poser will hide its face in anger and smite your pz3."
"But why, Revered Elder?"
smack "Insolent child! It is not for you to question the motives of the Great One! It is not given to us mere mortals to understand the working of the Unknowable! Just follow the rituals, and all will be well..."

This post is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any deity, past, present or future, living or undead, is completely coincidental and does not imply that the author wishes to be struck by lightning or have her hard drive mysteriously melted.


"you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love." - Warsan Shire


shadownet ( ) posted Sat, 07 August 2004 at 8:14 AM

LOL! how true how true! Thanks for being brave. Others, I am sure, feel the same, but trepidition prevents them from speaking out, for fear POSER, whose name must be whispered, will grow angry with them and cause their WIP to crash. :O)


aubreymagnus ( ) posted Sat, 07 August 2004 at 8:41 AM · edited Sat, 07 August 2004 at 8:46 AM

Ho Ho, having wrestled with the demon, Poser 5, me thinks an exorcism is in order! Horns, tail, and pitchfork, Poser 5, may not show. But it is the devil, I tell you, to learn!

Message edited on: 08/07/2004 08:46


cedarwolf ( ) posted Sat, 07 August 2004 at 12:51 PM

Y'know, that may be my problem with the cloth room. I haven't figured out what to sacrifice! I've offered up donuts, massive amounts of coffee, both salty and sweet snacks, gourmet baked goods, even incense, but the cloth room still refuses to recognize my plea for cooperation. I've only got the one kid left at home and she graduates this year, so that idea is out...perhaps one of the cats? Does Poser like cats?? Godz knows I've made enough cash love offereings to the different suppliers of religious artifacts, props, and such!


cedarwolf ( ) posted Sat, 07 August 2004 at 12:52 PM

Y'know, that may be my problem with the cloth room. I haven't figured out what to sacrifice! I've offered up donuts, massive amounts of coffee, both salty and sweet snacks, gourmet baked goods, even incense, but the cloth room still refuses to recognize my plea for cooperation. I've only got the one kid left at home and she graduates this year, so that idea is out...perhaps one of the cats? Does Poser like cats?? Godz knows I've made enough cash love offereings to the different suppliers of religious artifacts, props, and such!


KarenJ ( ) posted Sat, 07 August 2004 at 1:45 PM

I've found the best sacrificial "lamb" is a nearly-completed pz3 which you have foolishly neglected to save throughout the building process. As long as Poser gets to eat one of them about once a month, it's generally happy. Although woe betide thee if thou commit a blasphemy such as loading dynamic hair, cloth and setting raytrace on...


"you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love." - Warsan Shire


gtrdon ( ) posted Sun, 08 August 2004 at 5:41 PM · edited Sun, 08 August 2004 at 5:42 PM

Poser Mania-Will probably become a standard medical term..

Warning....This software can cause serious addiction and mental problems to individuals using it....

Pose-Aholic-"Hello My name is xxxx and I am a Pose-Aholic

Family- Don Mike Judy Stephenie Penny.....Oh my other family
Message edited on: 08/08/2004 17:42


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