So Grandpa and grandma were sitting out on the porch one evening watching the sun go down. Straight out of the blue Grandma leans over and slaps her husband in the kisser just as hard as she can. Picking himself off the deck, the old man say, "What the hell was that for?" Grandma says, "That's for 40years of bad sex!" Well things quiet down for a while until all of a sudden, Grandpa leans over and slaps Grandma just as hard as he can. Grandma picks herself up and puts her teeth back in and cries, "Now what the hell was THAT for?" The old man looks balefully at her and yells, "That's for knowing the difference..!" You know you're getting old when you wake up in the morning and you HAVEN'T got a hard-on!

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All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster

And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...