You're missing one of the key elements here, John. Everyone is. It's all Jack's fault. Everything is Jack's fault. He's the Dark Evil High Lord of Poser Commercialism. He planned all of this. Jeeze. Get with the Plot, people.

"I am a good person now and it feels... well, pretty much the same as I felt before (except that the headaches have gone away now that I'm not wearing control top pantyhose on my head anymore)"

• Monkeysmell