Life just keeps f***ing me over! If it isn't a death in my family, it's something else! Sarte, I'm not trying to be a jerk here ... but these things aren't only happening to you. They are things that happen to everyone. You can't control the things that happen TO you, but you can change how you react to them. Take a step back for a moment. I say this from the heart ... breathe deep and let this pass. Try to respect the honor of the man who passed on instead of focusing on how his passing affected you. His work should be an inspiration for you to achieve higher goals instead of dashing your hopes to the ground. shogakusha, thank you very much for trying to help Sarte, it was very kind and gracious of you. It is unfortunate that your assistance seems unappreciated. Some of us here respect and uphold the honor of Taruru-san, and feel very bad about what happened here. I am sure he is very grateful that you spoke on his behalf.