Ooh la la, (last one, I swear) you didn't have my favorite: Be sure to use your cell phone frequently and speak loudly so no one can miss the fact you have a cell phone and know how to use it. The more public and inappropriate place you choose to do this, the better. Churches, restaurants, funeral homes, movie theaters, automobiles while driving, for example are great places to use your cell phone. How else are people going to know that the whole world revolves around you?

This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy