First...You need to focus on HEALING...getting BETTER...both physically and mentally! What happened to you and are now going thru was/is traumatic to say the least! Give yourself time! Photography is just ONE of your MANY artistic talents! It's no secret the you like to WRITE...stories, poetry....these are all outlets for you! You can also experiment with your existing photo collection, thru postwork, collages and such! Just remember to TAKE CARE of YOURSELF! L8r! Joe