Those who remember the Coppertone girl (with fondness and not lust I hope,) will be glad to know that her tradition goes on, even in these troubling times. As you probably know, we had to dismiss little Copper--In order to protect the children, of course. Thankfully, her Nana has generously agreed to step into her little footprints in the sand. Maudie says the posing is bad for her sciatica but the sun feels good. She especially enjoys the wolf whistles and offers to push her chair that she gets from young swains in their 60's when she hits the beach. Of course, the Copper's little doggy had to go as well. Being male, he was sometimes prone to, well you know, I mean with his ah, procreative parts. Definitely not acceptable in this new era. He has been replaced by a neutered female dog. As you will no doubt understand, we can no longer have the dog, pulling down the swimsuit bottom since this is obviously a veiled form of besta, ah, beste, the number of the beast or something bad like that and bound to arouse perverts. Maudie says that she has taught the dog to fetch her sciatica medicine and that she is a great help to an old woman. We hope that you will like these changes as we continue to work together to return America to her roots. P.S. Our products will not protect degenerates and perverts from the burning rays of Hell's fires. We just thought you'd like to know. Merry Easter to all and to all a goodnight.

"Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H. L. Mencken