I think that's a great start to a short story. You have a lot of plot that I think could be fleshed out and really built into a strong storyline. And might I say it's a far cry better than my first short story (which I won't describe for the benefit of all LOL). If you'd like, I'll send you an IM with more details and a tip or two :) I don't want to toss those around uninvited! David L. Writer's Coord.