You sound like you have a certain amount of control on your gift to look at it that way and I applaud you. I lived with a bipolar person for over 10 years and I have a secondhand insight from the other side: of not finding an outlet for your emotions. It was extremely frustrating for him not to be able to climb out of the depression when he really needed to see some sort of light in his life. He knew it was there, could see everyone around him happy yet could not feel it himself. Yet when he was 'high' he was an amazing person who could do just about anything he set his mind to. He kept losing his jobs due to his attitude when in the lows. He has attempted suicide four times that I know of as a cry for help. He has been to a psychologist, been on medication and still did not have the willpower to overcome or adapt to bipolar. He turned to alcohol which is one of the worst things a person with bipolar can do. He was very happy when drinking with his buddies but just one word out of place would make him strip. It also made him violent at times which I unfortunately could not tolorate as my two children might have become the target, so we separated. He is remarried today to another lady who has become his drinking buddy and seems to be happy most of the time. I just hope that he has found the outlet he needed to be able to adapt to his bipolar tendencies. I could not imagine living in such an angry dark place all the time so I have utmost respect for you, Paul, who has learnt that the anger does not rule your life, even though it colours it a certain way. Life deals you a hand and it is up to the player to use the cards to his/her benefit. Big hugs to you, Paul.

Copyright S.R. Hulley
Chin up, stay strong! Hugs!