garblesnix, Unfortunately, there are typewriters designed to work with toes or with mouth-driven-sodastraws... just breaking the sap's fingers isn't effective at stopping the floodgates of drivel. Remember to think outside the pre-defined limits! I could suggest "quick, give him a lobotomy with complete D&C". However, we'd encounter another author so bad that only "recommend mummification while alive" would serve to indicate our opinion of his skill. At the other end, simply being considered publishable isn't that high of an accolade. There needs to be room for nomination for Pulitzer or Nobel prizes, or even setting one's feet on the path to sainthood while yet alive, or other achievements too unearthly to comtemplate until an author arises who inspires that sort of praise. ;^) Carolly