Thank you :) Lots to work through at that link... it seems to branch off to a few other threads, but I'll read them all and see what I can pick up.

"It is good to see ourselves as others see us. Try as we may, we are never
able to know ourselves fully as we are, especially the evil side of us.
This we can do only if we are not angry with our critics but will take in good
heart whatever they might have to say." - Ghandi