Sharpi opened this issue on Oct 30, 2005 ยท 9 posts
drace68 posted Sun, 30 October 2005 at 8:41 PM
Imaginative. I liked it. But your foreshadow of the bracelet being key - remaining on her wrist - is too strong, too blatant for me: it lit up like a warning billboard. Suggest removing that whole sentence. Then the bracelet's engraved message kicks the reader in the gut - hard. Excellent story with problem, struggle and resolution - a true story. Thank you.
Message edited on: 10/30/2005 20:43