I agree with reading outloud, though I don't bellow, and see no advantage to shouting about when a speaking voice will do nicely. One thing you might try, if you would rather not expose yourself to criticism, is to record yourself and then play back the results. I would suggest speaking in a normal tone, and as you would like to think the reader will hear your language inside their heads (if that makes sense). After you get over the shock of what your voice sounds like, listen closely to how smooth (or rough) your writing reads. Your own ear will tell you what you need to know. (This is also a good way to identify places for punctuation...a natural pause calls for a comma, for exmaple). I'm not crazy about sharing stories with people I don't know well...especially if it is a story that you intend to get published some day. That's why I'm not strong on posting in the galleries and forums. But the advice to read outloud to catch problem areas with writing is a good one, and I have used it with both fiction and nonfiction, and will continue to do so in privacy. While my fiction writing will remain unpublished, I am a successful grant writer and so depend on that success to justify this habit. So those are my comments--in a whisper.