Hi Marlene,

A good piece of writing, yes.  And you've made nice word choices, as others  mention.  Also, you show a flare for adding drama with the short paragraphs – great!

But please consider a few things to tweak this solitary midnight tale:  first, you jump in and out of her head, from close third person POV ("Where is he?") to omniscient POV as you tell the reader what she's thinking.  Those jumps/shifts unsettle the reader and destroy the fictive dream.

Most of the prose posted in the gallery  and here in this forum uses synoptic, omniscient (god-like) POV.  I blame the mechanics of reading a monitor screen.  But omniscient POV is the TELLING POV.  SHOW don't TELL.  If you tell the reader what and why, then dear reader shuts down, and doesn't get into the main character's skin, doesn't worry or hope for the character, which is necessary for the fictive dream to succeed.  

The proof of whether a fictive dream works comes at the end, when the reader says "Oh, so that's what happened," or "Ah-h-h."   Fool that I am, I hope to say, "Ah-h-h."

 Second, because of the serious use of omniscient, there are 26 "she" words in some 412 words of total text.  Maybe give her a name.

Third, I side with Jon about "that place."  I'm unclear as to your meaning.  I wondered if it could be a house of ill-repute.  I'm older than Jon, and apparently more foul of mind.

We only learn from feedback.  Be of good cheer, for you've received many helpful comments, which certify you have talent.

More, please.
Dick