Awsome story Marlene. Truly writing that puts the reader there in the body and worried mind of the girl. It also looks like you've already gotten some pretty good feedback so I don't think I could add much that would improve this already very good tale. Dee-Marie wrote what I would have about the rain description and her thoughts about the "ewwww" I echo, and say also that I feel you don't need the "Ughhhhhh" either. :)

Kort Kramer - Kramer Kreations